Anger Management

Gracie RaspberriesWhen my 14 yr old was a baby she would do the funniest thing when she was angry. The only thing I could relate it to, was a sitting sumo wrestler flexing their arms down towards the ground- face turning red as she growled. She would do this and we would laugh, it was comical!

As she got older, she dealt with her frustrations pretty well- but when she would get overwhelmed all of a sudden this little tongue would come out, her cheeks would puff out and she would blow… a raspberry. This wasn’t any wet raspberry- it was a very forced tongue blow and it was a signature ‘Gracie ‘move!
Now, some people might get offended if their child was to blow raspberries at them. This wasn’t one of ‘those’ raspberries. She wasn’t foo-fooing us or telling us off. This was a genuine move of anger management that my daughter taught herself. She didn’t hit, she didn’t bite or yell or scream, and it only happened when she was was overwhelmed with frustration she didn’t know what to do.

As she got older, she has learned to make jokes with her wit in frustrating situations- and she is pretty fast on her feet with it. But recently after reminiscing of her tongue- blowing days, something occurred to me. Blowing a hard raspberry is a REALLY great way to blow off steam! It takes a lot of force, is fairly quiet and is non-aggressive. You could excuse yourself to the bathroom and even do it into a napkin where people would assume you are blowing your nose. You could do it into your pillow. It’s actually MORE effective than screaming!

As long as this is not done at another person, I think it’s a brilliant way to deal with anger!

Sunflare Kisser

Emma kissing Sunshine

Emma is the only one I know who could effectively kiss a sunflare. This gal has talent. She was almost 3 here and had tried cutting her own bangs. She cut half almost to her head, so we just matched the other side. It had a vintage feel about it and was fun to take pictures of. Keep kissing that sunshine, honey.

It’s Important To Be Mom First

AbbieI know it is every good mom’s job to, every now and then, look at their children and reflect on just how big they are. We remember their little bodies, and the remedial things we did back then that we can only touch in our minds, now. Washing and folding clothes. Putting their hair up on top of their heads to avoid having to go through the tangles that would form through their curls, and stewing a bathtub of bleached Duplo blocks- each with a finger full of poop stuffed in them.
Ah, those were the days.

But now they’re growing up and learning about life and… boundaries.

Being a parent isn’t only not easy- it’s down right hard. It’s hard because you love the buggers, you want them to grow up to be the kind of people other people like to be around, and sometimes not even you want to be around them. But you stick through it, and you pray through it, and you stare each other down, and you hope that- along with your ‘You-Are-The-Meanest-Mom-Evah’ award, you will achieve some higher super mom power for the super mom level you just got past.

Okay, so I know you want to stay in the circle with your daughters. You don’t want to alienate yourself from finding out first what is going on in their hormonally psychopathic heads (because really, all they do in there sometimes is beat themselves up) but having pity and having grace for your misbehaving children are two different things. It’s important to be mom first- because being a friend doesn’t help her. Something I learned early on was that- tough love is painful for both sides. As a parent you want nothing more than to watch your child have things that make them happy. You want to give it to them with glowing beams of glee bursting out of every pore! But when the time calls for it, you see that you can’t always give them everything they want and sometimes have to give them things they ‘need’…  and it sucks.

We recently had to set some strict-er boundaries where it comes to schoolwork and other things, and it’s a sad tug-o-war to be had. I mean- come on! A SOCIAL life is at stake here! You want to scream, “PLEASE just show us you understand the depth and breadth of this bottomless pit you are heading so we can stop lecturing you!”
But we are molding and shaping a wonderful, beautiful person who someday will be molding and shaping her own.

So, I decided I was going to stop taking pity on the destruction and start, firmly, offering grace and discipline instead- knowing that even though she may mumble under her breath at how miserable we make her life, someday she will thank us knowing that it drew her into the delightful, wonderful, God-led mold that she will become.

%d bloggers like this: